I Have Some Splainin' To Do

You may have noticed, but I took a nearly five month break from blogging.  You may be surprised to learn I also took a nearly five month break from running. 

 

Let me explain:

 

Does that explain it all?  This little bundle of joy (and tears and vomit and poopy diapers and sleepless nights) has taken up every second of every minute of every day since November. 

 

To be totally honest with you, for several months I felt terribly guilty about not running and not writing.  I felt like I owed you all updates and I felt like I couldn't update if I wasn't running.  At the same time, I felt like I just couldn't run.  I mean, I could not run.  Not to save my life.  And so I didn't.  I didn't do any of it.  Why did I feel guilty?  Well, here I was a person who not only self-identified as a runner, but also a person who had put herself out there for the whole world to see and proclaimed, "I am a runner."  I mean for heaven's sake, there is a blog entry title, "I am a runner."  But, I wasn't running.  I wasn't doing anything.  Okay, I was doing a ton, but I certainly wasn't doing anything I could write to you about under the guise of runner's blog.  What did that make me?  A fraud?  I liar?  A failure? 

But, after months of guilt about it, I decided to drop the guilt.  Well, at least guilt about this blog.  Turns out, after a baby, you have plenty of things to feel guilty about (and PLENTY of hormones to help you in all that guilty feeling).  You feel guilty that you don't know what the hell you are doing with this little tiny life you are now responsible for.  You feel guilty that suddenly everything in the world has shifted and nothing is how it used to be and you aren't sure how you are supposed to react to that.  You feel guilty that you aren't the wife, friend, daughter, employee, you used to be.  You aren't yourself  and you aren't sure if you'll ever feel like yourself again and you can't help but feel like you are letting every single person around you down.  **Have I mentioned that those post-baby hormones are intense?!? 

 

After I accepted that all of the things I thought I would do/be after baby before I actually had the baby were just insane (you guys, I actually bought an online language course, because you know, staying at home with a newborn who needs your attention 24/7 just lends itself perfectly for learning an entirely new language), I was able to accept who I was and where I was.  I accepted those 9 extra pounds that aren't just falling off.  I accepted that my arms and legs are a little flabbier and my clothes a little tighter.  I accepted that I was no longer a daily runner and that writing would have to be on hold.  And through acceptance, I found contentment.  I even found happiness.  When you aren't so focused on what you aren't able to do, you can really focus and be happy about what you are doing.  And, let me tell you, taking care of this little nugget is the greatest thing in the world to be doing.

 

But, I am back.  I'm slowly - very slowly - trying to get back out on the trail.  I don't know what this new version of me as a runner will look like (I have a feeling it might be more like a new version of me as a walker).  And, I can't imagine what me as a writer is going to look like.  But, I will be here.  Less fit and less often, but I will be here.

Bright Idea

Here's a bright idea for you:

When deciding to go on your first run in many months after having a baby, pick the morning when it is 95% humidity, drizzling, and hot. 

 

 

I am more than comfortable blaming my smart running choices on mommy-brain.

Belly Up To The Bar(re)

I feel like I've done a lot of writing about what I can't do anymore (run, sleep on my stomach, tie my shoes, go more than an hour without having to pee).  So, I thought it might be time to tell you what I am still doing. Namely, The Bar Method. I'm down to the teens in days left of this pregnancy, but that hasn't stopped me from, literally, bellying up to the bar(re). I have been consistently hitting up Bar Method classes throughout the last 37+ weeks and I do believe it has made a difference in not only how I look, but more importantly, how I feel while I'm pregnant. 

 

 

A few things I have found doing Bar Method pregnant:

 

1.  They have specific modifications you must do either as soon as you are pregnant (ie: no splits) or when you hit 20 weeks.  I absolutely love this about The Bar Method.  Knowing that they have researched, reviewed, and vetted exercises as safe specifically for pregnancy gives me an ease of mind that I can't find in other classes.  Often times in group classes the mentality is, "do what you can do."  And it's up to you to modify the moves as you see fit.  Let's be honest, very few of us know the anatomy behind each exercise, let alone the impact of pregnancy on your body as it relates to the anatomy of those exercises.  For example, I certainly wouldn't have known to avoid spinal twisting when pregnant.  I also wouldn't have thought twice about sliding into the splits pregnant.  Luckily, The Bar Method has taken the guess-work (and therefore, the potential for injury) out of exercising while pregnant.  If you want more information on how to modify during class, here is a great link: http://barmethod.com/the-workout/your-questions/

 

2. It doesn't hurt....well, any more than it usually hurts.  I have no "extra" pain doing The Bar Method due to pregnancy.  I shake and sweat just like always, but there's no added pain that comes along with class.  I haven't found this to be the case with other activities.  I've found running/walking/anything with impact to be pretty painful to my pelvis and low back, which means I've either had to stop doing those activities or modify them so much that I'm not really sure I'm getting any benefit from them.  It's so nice to do something where I can still "go all out," even with my tummy sticking all out.

 

3.  You can do all class levels.  You don't have to stick to the basics when Bar Methoding pregnant.  You can challenge yourself as much as you'd like.  Because you will modify any moves that aren't safe for you while pregnant, you can take any class you'd like.  I actually started taking the new Bar Move classes when I was significantly pregnant and I absolutely love them.  Side note: If you have not tried a Bar Move class at Bar Method, YOU MUST!  It's a great class that will get your heart pounding and your legs shaking.  Trust me on this, once you've taken enough entry level classes to be familiar with all of the moves and set-ups, you should get into a Move class.  I've even dared a few level 2 classes while pregnant.  Let's face it, just because you're carrying another person around in your belly doesn't mean you don't sometimes want a good challenge.

 

4.  Sorry cardio-queens (myself included), working your muscles is the best preparation for actual birth.  During my very first pregnancy appointment with my doctor, I remember her asking about my workout habits.  I told her that I was a runner and that I did Bar Method.  After describing Bar Method moves to her, she got wide-eyed and said, "you should keep that up as long as possible.  It sounds like it really works your core and you're going to need that for birth."  Her face and her words pop into my head every time we move into flat back during class.  No matter how hard it is to engage my abs (or lack of abs) and lift my feet, I just start thinking about birth and up they go.  Look, it's my first kid, and I wont lie, birth is a terrifying prospect.  If a few minutes of hard ab work during class is going to make it easier for me, I'm all over it.

 

5. The other Bar ladies!  Nothing makes you feel better than sweating and shaking with a group a super awesome ladies.  And, I cannot tell you how supportive all of the ladies have been of me during this pregnancy.  Not a class goes by without at least one person asking how I'm doing and cheering me on.  The Bar Method community is seriously one awesome group of girls.

No-Run Randomness

Just a couple random thoughts from my no-run Saturday workout/donut run:

1.  This says "cryotherapy and floatation."  Which, is apparently a thing and a thing opening soon near my local workout/donut spot. 

2.  Isn't this just the saddest closed sign you've ever seen?  It's so final.  It's like they've lost all hope.

3.  You know I love to have my t-shirts talk for me. 

Getting my whole body, including the belly, in one shot is becoming increasingly difficult.  Also, I might consider applying a little makeup before my Saturday workout/donut trip.

 

Be In The Now.

I need a reminder on this one as often as I can get it. Especially these days.  With my impending stork delivery looming nearer and nearer, staying in the now is virtually impossible.  I can't help but look forward and worry about the unknown of what's coming.  Ahhh...wait, there it is.  The error in my thinking. Of course I can help it. I am in control of my thinking and my worrying.  I can choose to stay in the now.  I can choose to be present in my life and experience all that is NOW instead of anticipating what is to come, or more accurately, my idea of what is to come.  If I choose to be in the now I am truly living and not just being.  Who knew you could get this much wisdom from an $8.99 Old Navy shirt?!?!

Kicks!

Little tiny, never ending, sleep preventing, belly deforming, baby kicks aren't the only kicks on my mind these days. 

These new kicks arrived today and I couldn't be happier!

Just because I can't run, doesn't mean I can't shop, right? 

Don't worry, I haven't given up my devotion to Brooks when it comes to running/training, but I decided to change it up a little for my non-running training. I've been wearing my reguluar running shoes, Brooks PureFlows, for my daily workouts and figured it was time to give them a break until I'm ready to get back on the running trails. Plus, how could I pass up such cute new shoes?!?

 

Working out in new shoes just feels better, doesn't it?

Brain Duh'd

Y'all, pregnancy brain is REAL!!  And, the effects are serious. 

Yesterday, I got to the gym, changed into my workout clothes, and realized I'd forgotten to pack my shoes. 

Today, I packed my gym shoes, got to the gym, and realized I'd forgotten the whole damn bag!

I swear I'm not doing it on purpose. I really do want to exercise. It's not me.  It's this baby girl. She clearly doesn't want me to be fit. She wants me at home, on the couch, eating Oreos. She's sabotaging my body and my brain!

I get that this is a time in my life where "taking it easy" and "giving myself a break" is acceptable and encouraged, but this is getting ridiculous. I do want to stay active and strong. I just don't have the brainpower these days to remember how to do it. 

Now, back to those Oreos...

Never Underestimate...

The other morning I woke up in a foul mood. Not just a wrong-side-of-the-bed kind of mood.  No, I was in a wrong-side-of-life kind of mood. And I knew I was in that kind of mood before my feet hit the floor. 

So, as soon as my feet did hit the floor, which, on a side note, is SO much harder  now that I am trying to hoist up this big belly, I put them right into my running shoes and took a trip to the gym. 

And then I took myself on a trip to Shipley's Do-Nuts!

Here is the lesson y'all:

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE HEALING POWER OF SWEAT AND SWEETS!!!

Trust me on this one guys, sometimes the fix is as simple as that.