Thursday, November 17, 2016

How Are You Feeling?

Hey guys.

I just thought I would check in to see how you are feeling.  I know I've been struggling a little in the last week.  It's been really hard seeing what we've turned into and all of the anger and hate that seems to be spreading across this country.  I also thought I would share my experience from the other day.

As you know, whenever I'm feeling the feelings, I lace up and hit the trails.  Needless to say, I've been feeling lots of feelings lately.  So, the other day I set out for a little run-therapy.  As I started the run I went to put my car keys in my pocket and something told me not to.  Instead, I held my keys in my fist as I ran.  I held them the way we women are taught to carry our keys when we are alone in a parking lot.  You know, just in case someone jumps out at us. I had never carried my keys like that on a run.  Yes, I always try to be aware of my surroundings, but I found myself constantly glancing behind me, you know, just in case.  This was something new to me.  I had to ask myself what had changed. Why was I running scared?

The answer?  The country has changed.  Or more specifically, my understanding of the country has changed.  As a woman I no longer feel safe or protected.  And, I'm just a white woman.  I know that I am in less danger than most.  I don't know if I would have been brave enough to step out on the trail if I were a woman of color or a woman in a hijab.  To those ladies, my heart goes out to you. 
As I'm thinking about this and wondering if all my runs will be like this and considering how that makes me feel about running these days, I come upon an older Hispanic man who has stopped to adjust his knee brace.  Just then, he flashes me a huge smile an throws me a big thumbs up sign. 
Oh Universe.  You really are amazing!  You always provide exactly what we need when we need it.  The SIGNS ARE ALWAYS THERE.  We just have to keep looking for them.
What's the lesson?  I suppose considering this blog's name, I need to find the lesson here.  I think the lesson isn't just that good is out there.  That's not enough.  I can't say that everything is all good because good exists.  No.  There are still some very scary things going on and very scary people out there.  But, and here is the lesson I stumbled upon about half a mile after the thumbs up:  Our eyes have to be open to what's going on out there, but so must our hearts.

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