Still here? If so, hang on because I have a confession to make: I have not got it all figured out. I am still struggling to "get there." And right now I'm really struggling to "get out." I can't seem to get out of a huge body image funk. Just typing that pisses me off. I don't want to be focused, much less obsessed, with my body. I know better.
I spent this morning in the hospital surrounded by people who were struggling to get their bodies to perform the most basic functions. I watched as people worked on standing up, sitting down, balancing upright, and daring to attempt a step or two. And even then, as I stood on my own two perfecting functioning legs, I still couldn't manage to muster up a little appreciation for what I've got. And I've got a lot. I don't have to struggle just to get out of bed in the mornings. No, this body of mine allows me to get out of bed and tackle any challenge I choose. These legs have allowed me to run the miles and miles that inspired me to start this blog. I get to use these arms to wrap around the man that I love and give a good squeeze. My belly....well I use that belly to laugh at all of the joy life has sent my way. Yet, I can't help but focusing on the "imperfections" of this perfectly healthy body that I refuse to enjoy.
Like I said, I know better. I am the originator of the idea that the fastest way to lose those five pounds is to stop obsessing over those five pounds. But now I find myself unable to let go of the five pound obsession. Don't worry, I have a plan.
From now on, any time I find myself making a negative comment about my body, weight, or myself in general, I'm going to make a donation to a women's charity. I'm going to turn my negative energy into something positive for another woman. I've always marvled at the amount of time and energy we have wasted shaming ourselves on something as dumb as a dimple in our ass?? What could we (especially women!) accomplish if we simply decided to spend less time hating ourselves and more time focused on the world around us and the life we've been given? Cure to cancer? World peace? A stop to summer mosquitos (seriously, what are they good for??).Here is where you come in to play (are you even out there?):
1. Send me the names of recommended charities. I think I'd prefer to stick to charities that empower women in some way. I plan on being in a bathing suit this weekend. They stand to receive a pretty healthy donation after that. So, let me know your ideas. Left to my own devises (true story), I donate money to stray donkeys.
2. Join in!! I know you're guilty of the same. I know because I hear you say it. How many of my stunning, healthy, witty, generous, all-around amazing friends have I listed to slam themselves for some imagined or real but hidden to the lay eye fault? So, join me. Let's make our negative thoughts something positive. If you're a mom, consider doing it with your daughter. We would never want our daughters to say about themselves the things we don't think twice to say about ourselves. Let's be the change we want to see in the world.
Here is a quote from Augusten Burroughs. Think on it:
"Do you know you are exactly attractive enough and thin enough (even if you weigh four hundred pounds) and smart enough and funny enough (even if you can't tell a knock-knock joke without fucking it up)? You are exactly and everything enough to the person who thinks you are."
And, here is what I want to add to that -- Make that person be you!!! Know you are attractive, thin, funny, and smart enough for YOU and YOU are what matters most in this world.
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