Saturday, February 21, 2015

Know Thyself

I guess that, in the long run, the whole point of all of this (or one of them) is to get to know yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. 

Well, here is one fact I'm getting to know about myself: I'm not going to put in the long runs unless I have to. I think I want to be the person who goes out running for hours just because.  But, I am not that person.  I, apparently, am not going to put up with all of the long run inconveniences without the long run reward known as a finisher's medal. 

Last year, I signed up for two almost back-to-back half marathons. One of my goals in doing so was to get in the habit of putting in the long runs. I believed that if I could put in months and months of half marathon training, I would come out of it ready to be a distance(ish) runner. My ultimate goal was to be doing at least one 10+ mile run per week. Well, now it has been two months out of training and I have been hanging out in the 3-5 mile range. I think it's time to accept that the long runs just 'cause aren't happening. 

I've been pretty disappointed in myself for not putting in the miles. I've blamed part of it on the cold weather, but I know the truth is that I haven't been doing it because I haven't really wanted to. Damn it if getting to know yourself sometimes means you have to be really honest about who you are even when the picture isn't that pretty. 

But, here comes the accepting yourself part.  So what if I need a race to motivate me to more miles?  I'm sure lots of runners are like that. So what if I've been sticking to the shorter runs?  I've been really improving my speed and I'm always pushing myself to improve. I never go more than a day or two without putting in at least some miles. So what if I'm not the kind of runner I thought I should be?  I'm still running. I haven't given up. I have my highs and lows. I go through phases and cycles. So does life.  And, it's okay. 

Speaking of knowing me, this is the second "Run now, wine later" shirt that I have been gifted. Apparently, some of you know me quite well!

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