Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Doubts

The doubts have started creeping in. 

I've started hearing the same familiar doubts again lately:
--You're no runner. 
--You have no business running a marathon. You tried it once and you were terrible at it. Why are you trying again?
--You'll never reach your goal. 
--You aren't good enough for your goal. 
--You have no business blogging. 
--No one is interested in what you have to say. 
--You are making no difference for anyone. 
--You are lying about feeling better about yourself. 
--You shouldn't be so confident. 
--You should quit. 

I debated a lot about writing this blog. I was afraid that by putting these thoughts out there, I would be giving them more validity and power than they deserve. But then I decided that by purging these doubts from my mind and putting them in written form in front of me where I can see the words and truly how small they are, I could give myself the opportunity to rid myself of the doubts. My goal in writing this is to get the negative words swirling in my subconscious out in front of me where I can see them, acknowledge them, and then destroy them. 

Of course, that is easier said than done. But, I'm going to give it a try. I'm going to try because I know I want to be a better runner, better writer, and a better and happier person in general. I promised myself that I would give these things my best effort. I can't achieve my goals as long as I let these doubts continue to creep in. 

I believe that the doubts aren't me. Doubts are totally separate from me. They are outside of me. The doubts come only when I allow myself to think about what others think of me. All doubts are about how we think others see us, not really about how we see ourselves. Being true to ourselves means pushing past the doubts and moving beyond the fear. 

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