Insulted

I planned on sitting down tonight and writing a completely different post, but then something happened today that really shook me and I feel like I need to write about it. 

I was insulted.  Maybe that sounds insignificant, but I was really insulted.  Someone looked directly into my face and said some pretty terrible things.  It's been a lot of years since someone has purposely and carelessly said mean things to me like that.  I guess that makes me really lucky.  But, it also made it that much more shocking.  It has be a long time since someone made me feel so small....or so large as the case may be today.

 

*** In full disclosure, I have gained some weight.  I am, at most 4 lbs heavier than when this person last saw me.  But, really!?!?  4 lbs!?!?  Is that really so much weight?!?

 

I am discovering that there are at least four phases of overcoming an insult:

1.  Disbelief - I tell you what, as soon as the words starting coming out of this person's mouth, my head went on a swivel looking for the hidden cameras.  I thought, "Surely this isn't real," and "maybe I'm on that 'What Would You Do' show."  I seriously started looking around for the ABC cameras.  When I concluded that there were no cameras around, I decided that the person must be kidding and I could react with only nervous laughter and a confused look on my face.

 

 



2. Anger - Okay, I'll admit it, once I realized this wasn't a joke or a prank TV show, I got pissed.  I was steaming at the thought that someone would be so careless with their words.  I had to walk away.  I removed myself from the situation and immediately started texting my friends who responded with the perfect amounts of "WTF!?!?!"  and "You are gorgeous, that person is crazy."  Thank you to my friends!  Once I was done talking to them, I felt most of the anger had passed.

 

 

3. Belief - This is probably where I have wallowed the longest today.  I have to be honest with you and admit that after the first two stages, I spent a good amount of time planning out next week's iceberg lettuce and water diet.  I started believing what they said.  I started thinking it was true and that I'd just been in denial this whole time thinking that I looked okay.  You see, and this might be something I've never mentioned before, but I spent quite a few years of my life believing all of the terrible things someone else told me.  During those years, I had no self-worth.  I valued myself only on how someone else told me I should be valued.  Today's comments took me right back to that spot.  Luckily, and thankfully, I've come a long way since those days.

 

4. Acceptance - And, this is why I'm sharing all of this with you.  After spending a little time in that dark place, I remembered all of the things I've been working on and working for.  I decided to practice what I preach.  I chose to believe MYSELF and believe IN myself.  I know more about who I am and what I'm worth than anyone else.  No one else's comments can have any impact on me unless I let them.  I can now say that I accept what happened today as just what it was...a comment.  It was about 15 seconds of my life when someone else decided to say something about me.  Something that could only have power over me if I let it.  And I won't let it.  I've come too far.  I've learned too much about how strong I am and what I am capable to let someone else's opinions bring me down.

 

AMEN!!!

Plus, I like cookies too much to give them up to please someone else.