Friday, October 11, 2013

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

In response to yesterday's blog, I was sent a link to another blog also posted yesterday (you really should check out that contained the below:

"You will never find your perfect life “balance” on the path for the same reason you will never find a unicorn on the path – because these things don’t exist. Forget unicorns and balance. If you were perfectly balanced- you’d never have to take any ones hand to steady yourself, and that would be a tragedy. There is no solid ground on the path – so don’t hold your breath till you find it. Breathe deeply and keep moving forward awkwardly. You can make it down the whole path imbalanced and flailing. When you fall, give thanks for the opportunity to rest. While you’re down, send love to every other path walker who’s down with you at that moment. Then get back up. Or crawl. Crawling is encouraged and respected. Path running is fine, but crawling is much better. Crawlers travel with their eyes close to the ground – so they never miss an inch of the beautiful, rocky path. Crawlers get less glory but learn the most about the path’s terrain."

Hello, my light bulb moment!!  Of course I can't figure out how to find the perfect balance between the musts with the wants.   Why would I expect to be able to find a "perfect" balance?  What in life have I ever found to be perfect?  The fact is, I AM HUMAN.  Aren't we all a little off balance?  In spending so much time and energy trying to find this ever elusive balance it becomes a must in itself, which in turn, throws off all chance at balance.  Not only was I feeling bad for trying to do too much, but I was also feeling bad for not being able to not want to do too much.  You getting that?  I was being hard on myself for not wanting something that deep down I don't really want.  Sure, I don't want to get sick.  Sure, I don't want to be too tired to get out of bed.  But, it turns out, I like doing the things that contribute to getting me there.  Some days are going to be good and some days are going to be bad, but I'm not going to spend time searching for something I may never find.  So, here is what I think now:  Sometimes the thing about life is just realizing that you are going to do it imperfectly and that it's okay. 

Yes, I do too much.  It's not a fault.  It's just who I am and I'm going to own that.  But really, some days I am SO good at doing too much (really, you should see me.  I even impress myself).  I love those days.  But, some days I really suck at it and I find myself down for the count.  But, you know what?  That's okay too.  On those days when I am curled up and exhausted I can take the time to be thankful for my wonderful husband who is willing to step in and take care of things when I can't.  I'm just not willing to give up the wants in my life.  They bring me so much joy and they recharge my batteries when I am down.  I've never done one of my wants and come away wishing I'd rested instead.  I've evaluated and I like doing all of the things that I do.  Could I make some improvements? Absolutely, yes.  But could I give myself a little slack for being off-balance?  Definitely! 

So, if you happen to pass a girl running like she could use a V-8, just smile and wave.  It's just me running off balance. 

*** UPDATE:  Isn't Life just freaking hilarious!?  It just doesn't take no for an answer. If you don't pick up its subtle hints it will slap you in the face with a big ol' sign   Not six hours after I made the above post, I picked up the Girls on the Run book to start reviewing the lesson I'm assigned to teach (my first to lead!) and this is what I see:

Can you believe it?  I'm going to be teaching the girls the importance of slowing down!  Okay, okay, Life. NOW I get it. I never claimed to be the quickest study. There is no perfect balance to be found. Life is unbalanced. At times you are overloaded with the musts and other times the wants get to take center stage. But, that doesn't mean I shouldn't learn to SLOW down so that I can fully appreciate both the musts and the wants. Life is not just about doing as much as you can. It's also about enjoying what you can do. Got it. At least for tonight. 

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