The other day my mom was asking me about how the Komen race went and how I did and I told her that I'd placed 16th in my division and went on to describe the race and later walking with my beautiful friends. Her reaction, in typical, never-ending, undyingly supportive, mom-style fashion, was to say something along the lines of, "You amaze me with what you can do with those short legs of yours." Mom, if you are reading this, please note now that I love you and I know you meant it as a compliment. But, for the rest of you, when I read her words this is exactly what I pictured myself looking like:
And, at 5'1" it's probably a pretty accurate image. |
Here is the thing, though. I know I'm never going to break any speed records. At least, not for another 25 or so years when my division is narrowed down to a bunch of old ladies power walking (nothing against old ladies power walking, I can't wait to be one). I know that I will likely never wear anything more than a participants medal around my neck. I know that when it's time to line up for the start of a race, I shouldn't rush up to the leaders section. And, I'm totally okay with that. I am 100% satisfied running my own race knowing that there isn't a chance in the world I will win. I wasn't made for winning. My mom is right, physically, my body will not be breaking that sub 3 hour marathon. I can barely fathom the idea of breaking a sub 4 hour marathon. It's just not in the cards for me.
I didn't commit to this in order to be the best runner. I committed to this to be the best runner that I can be. I committed to giving every run and every race my all. I'm not in this for the records. I'm in this because it's hard (very) and because I get a sense of fulfilment and pride out of doing very hard things. Every day that I lace on my running shoes I know there isn't anyone standing at the end of the trail with a trophy for me (although, I wouldn't mind someone standing there with a box full of doughnuts). The trophy comes from within. The trophy is the sense of accomplishment that comes with setting a goal, working towards that goal, and finally, probably after a couple brutal fails, reaching that goal. Of course, doughnuts would be cool too.
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